I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
