You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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