We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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