I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
