are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
These tits shall not be calmed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
