You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this is an emotional support booty call
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
