Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize