david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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