His hands were made for my vagina.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
