dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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