i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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