It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
