with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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