3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I would fuck him just for his dog
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