I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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