If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
