so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
