There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
