the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize