from now on my penis is your penis
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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