The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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