Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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