The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
