i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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