Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
