Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
