New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
