Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
