i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
