It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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