All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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