Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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