the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
