Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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