i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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