So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
