so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
