I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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