I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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