she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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