I feel great
I just peed on a car
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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