there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
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go home
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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