a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
