I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
