yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
