you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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