I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
