This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
