Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
