That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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