i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
