i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
