So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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