Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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