Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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