Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
