You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
