Im at strip club and am horny
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
