Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
and you fell through a lawn chair
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