i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
