dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
