Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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