I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
