I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
