That's when you crack a 10am beer
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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