You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
