My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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