my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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