I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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