I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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